Riding the Bull

[Arsene]

A bit tough when I got home today. It's my 47th Birthday tomorrow and I frankly was hoping it would just go unnoticed but tonight, D8 was so excited about it and even asked me if I was having a party. At first I said that I wasn't and she got all sad. This affected me quite a bit.

It's not getting older, it's getting older without my W. She used to tell me she wanted to be the first one to die so she wouldn't have to be the one left behind. That's the way I feel now. I'm the one left behind.

Anyway, I managed to shake the feeling and a few minutes later, I asked D8 why she wasn't ready yet. She looked surprised and asked me where we were going so I told her we had a pre-birthday date me and her. That got her happy again. I took her to some food fair nearby and after some of her favorite food, we went on the bumper cars. We had a good laugh.

I just put her to bed and after our prayer, she asked me about God. I told her what I thought and asked her what she thought. She said that to her, we were all praying the same God, and all the people in the world should be together instead of fighting.

I told her she was a clever girl but she told me that sometimes she didn't think she was. She eventually opened up and told me how a friend at school is always putting her down and making her feel stupid. I listened and validated her feeling and she talked about it for quite some time.

I don't think my D8 would ever have talked to the old me that way. I hate that it had to happen the way it did, but I'm glad that I am the person I am today.