She tells me that if I would have reacted differently when she first layed this on me(two months ago)by saying "ok honey, I hear you and I will give you your space and move out) , she would have had a change of heart. Now, because I did the opposite,(not move out and fight), she's less interested in reconciliation.
Again, if she wants out so bad then she needs to leave. She's just trying to guilt trip you into saying "you're right, I'll leave ASAP". How does she know she would have had a change of heart had you moved out? She doesn't.
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I'am getting tired of her coldness, lack of love for me.
Believe me, I understand because I was there too. It got a lot easier after W moved out though.
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Today she told me that she thinks I'm sticking around because I'am hollow inside, I'am nothing without defining myself as the husband and father in this family.
Based on your posts it sounds like there's a ring of truth to this. I can relate, because that's how I felt for months after BD. Hollow inside, like my very identity was stripped away. But if you really give DB'ing your full efforts, you get back in touch with YOU. You've let yourself be defined by your M and your parenting for so long that you don't remember who YOU are. It was the same with me. But I have gotten back in touch with ME, I remember the ME that existed before marriage, that was happy and content even with no wife and no kids. That me was still in there even though he'd been suppressed for decades, he just needed some coaxing to come back out again. But he's back, and I feel stronger, better and more confident than I have in years. You need to find that in yourself too. Because once you do, if your W tells you you're hollow inside, afraid of being single, afraid of talking to your family, etc. you'll have to honestly suppress a laugh. You'll get to the point where you'll want to respond with something like "W, that couldn't be further from the truth. I'm happy and content with who I am and I have come to realize I will be just fine with or without you." And you'll honestly mean it too! You've got to get to that point.
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And it made me feel angry.
If my W said these things to me a few months ago I too would have been angry. But now, I'd probably look at her like she had lost her mind. I'd wonder how she could be so far off base. But here's the thing, I seriously doubt she'd say these things to me, because SHE knows they're not true now too.
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I know I'm not supposed to talk about the R with her, but we've all been home because of the storm, and we've had way too much time together.
Talking about R = pressure. Applying pressure while cooped up in a house during a storm = bad. You're really making her feel caged in when you do that. Your goal is to never, ever bring up R talks. If you were able to be crammed in the house with her during a storm and not talk about the R at all, that would demonstrate to her that you're taking pressure off. THAT is what she needs right now.
