rH, Well, he is on his way on the train bound for no where. Yes, he is very much driven to have this divorce over and done with. He is very torn between staying married and divorcing you, but the call of the wild is calling him and in hid mind, he thinks that divorcing you will set him totally free to do whatever he wants w/o feeling guilty. I hate to tell him, but the price of his freedom will not make him feel better at all. The first 6 mths after the divorce he may be on a euphoria high and then it will drop and that's when he will find out that he can run, but he can't hide from his inner self speaking to him and reminding him of his family and the good life he once had.
Right now, he's going through the phase of beating himself up and that is the clinical depression talking. He'll go through that for a while and then move on to other things. It's a gradual climb up the mlc mountain for them.
I do not blame your son for giving him the eye when his father asked him to his chore. There may be some resentment that will surface if your h continues to ask S19 to do his chores, that he was suppose to do. I hope not, but time will tell.
As for spousal support, don't listen to your h about providing it to you for one year, etc. People are telling him what he should and shouldn't do...the law will decide what is proper in the way of spousal support. In many instances, the lbs are granted spousal support for a period of time until they can find employment. There are times that spousal support will continue unti the lbs remarries. Share the information that he conveniently told you w/the lawyer. BTW, I don't think it's adviseable to share a lawyer. It's better to have your own who will fight for your rights solely, but it appears that you and your h are sharing one at this point. If, what I am reading is correct, stand your ground and do not waffle on what you and your children need to survive.
Drinking is his self medication to drown his sorrows. It helps for a short period of time, but the pain is still there when he sobers up. Do not feel sorry for him, he made this mess and now he's going to start seeing the reality of what his actions have created.
Good luck w/the lawyer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
