veroprado is correct in saying that the WAS/mlcer will respond the same way to the children as they do the LBs. Seeing and hearing the children will create the same type of guilt that they suffer from when they see or hear you, or are reminded of you and the children.

Sweatbriar, you have to understand that there is nothing that will bring him home right now, except God. There's something lacking in his soul and he needs to find out what it is and fix it. It is not you fault that he walked out. You didn't break him, therefore you can't fix him.

As for blaming you because he's drinking...no, no, no....don't drink the koolaid! He's projecting on to you his thoughts, guilt and anger....you didn't lead him to the bottle and make him drink it. The same goes for him running to the ow's home and being there w/him....that is a choice that HE made and YOU did not force him to do it. He is a grown man who has made some terrible decisions.

All of our marriages were good marriages, but none were 100% perfect. We all make mistakes, but those mistakes could have been fixed and lessons learned...the WAS/MLCer harbors resentment and stuffs it down until everything clashes together and then comes out spewing. Don't take on ownership of his issues...they are his and his only to own.

Good luck today. I'll be thinking of you.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.