Quote: Does anyone else or has anyone else felt this way??? One minute happy at chance to work on marriage again..then next resentful that I am the one doing all the work once again...
Yes, Alaskangal, yes! I know JUST how you feel!
The closer I get to H and the more we are getting on, the more I have feedback from friends and family that I must be mad, when H is so selfish, arrogant, did a runner, bunked his responsibilities, (or tried to), put me down, blah blah blah.
So, why am I trying to save my marriage? When he is grandly telling me that he won't come back to me, it will never happen etc. EVERYTHING seems to be about what HE wants!!! What HE sees, what HE feels, what HE decides, what HE thinks will work, what HE thinks I am like etc etc.
I'm really the villain here, right?
But, I did marry him, we did have good times, I do love him still, we do have a daughter, EVERYONE has flaws and annoying things, we can fall out with anyone - parents, siblings, friends, children etc. Working on things you have seems to be the better option that always believing that change is the answer - that other people are the problem, never us or our behaviour.
Here's a quote I like - by James Joyce I believe.
"Really, the secret of having it all, is loving it all"
Remember Alaskangal, if you undertake to DB, you will come out of this a winner, whether you save your marriage or not; you won't turn into a bitter and twisted and grief stricken basket case! You need to keep things 'nice' for your son.
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
