I went through a lot of the same things you are going through a year ago and since you are just at the beginning of your journey figured I would try to answer one of your questions about getting the ILYBNILWY speech and the chances of getting back together with your wife.
It took about 7 months before things got back to normal for me so remember it will take way longer than you think but hopefully with the changes you are doing she will figure out that being single with kids isn't better than trying to work things out with you.
My advice is to listen, validate and be the best dad you can be, women love that. Try to be her best friend. Have no expectation as far are intimacy, after about 3 months it gets much easier to deal with that. Try really hard to not have resentment because what I found is if you can wait her out she will come around eventually you can work things out, at least that is what happened to me.
Shaky
M 42 W 41 S 10 D 7 M 15 Years T 20 Years Divorce busted
