I have sadly had to push my relationship to the side with our friends. I did realize that it wasn't fair to them to be in the middle. They have been very supportive and don't understand what and why my H is doing what he is. Our friends came to the Halloween party. I talked with them about how I didn't want to put stress on them. They have seen a difference in my behavior towards them the past couple weeks. They both texted me about a week ago to ask if they had done something wrong, if I was upset or mad. These are two people who my H and I have done almost everything with. We've been on vacations together. Our girls have grown up together. I was the only person besides the H who was in the delivery room with their youngest D. I know they want to be involved in both our lives. It just feels different now. It's hard to be around them w/o my H. Knowing that my friend gets to hug him when he goes to their house for dinner, when he's in town, just kills me. I try to remember that it's not just me and my H effected by all this. It's hurt everyone that knows.
