H and I were having a discussion about S18 who is a typical young man who never cleans up his dishes, or puts things he borrows back and generally won't take responsibility. Just typical stuff.
I said "he (meaning son) will never get it" out of frustration. H says "I just don't care anymore, I just don't care about anything anymore, I just don't care about what they do anymore, I just don't care about them"...referring to his kids.
I looked at him and responded "how can you not care, they are your family, not a bunch of strangers".
He gave me that look like..how dare you disagree with me. I walked out of the room. When I returned H was getting into the car to take off down to the beach. Most likely to be with the people he cares most for and smoke and sit in the sun (his two favourite passtimes and things he cares most about, oh and golf).
What a sad excuse for a human being. I wish I had responded better with something like "that's a shame because we all care a lot about you"... Next time.
Oh Gal, it's so hard to see their blatant insensitivity flaunted in your face. So hard to see.
He might of well as had a sign on him that said "all I care about is me".
It's so nice that you had a kind comment to say next time. But I think what you said was fine. Snodderly said on a post recently, sometimes you have to tell them how you feel (hrm's post was it?)
Last night when I hugged my H goodbye by his car, the moon was full and it was chilly and I was shivering a bit from the emotions of the day. H held me closely and warmly in his big arms. I hafta brag a little -- he is such a jock! He is 70 pounds heavier than me, 6 inches taller, and 6% body fat -- he is all muscle! So when he holds me it is awesome. Anyway...I know this wasn't good DBing but I said "it's so wrong for you to have to leave us. It's his BIRTHDAY!".
Then I said tenderly, "I don't think you have any idea how much we -- the three of us -- truly love you."
Him (with choked reply) "maybe not"
Sometimes I think it's okay to say it the way it is.
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
I kinda feel sorry for them. What a sad life to even think that, let alone feel it. I'm sure deep down he really doesn't feel that, it's just fog. Stupid, stupid, crazy, insane fog. How hurtful to hear.
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
Thanks for your support. Glad I can come here to speak to sane people.
RH maybe what I said did have an impact. H came back from the beach and acted a little sheepish. I can tell he had the guilts because he followed me around the house chatting as though nothing had happened.
Always brushing stuff under the rug..that's another thing that annoys me. Never facing up to the hurtful things he says. You are right TVS..there are many similarities between H and S18. I can excuse S18 somewhat.
SS, the fog gets to me some days. Leaves me wondering (as many of us here) why I keep hanging around and putting up with this cr@p. Trying to always take the high road, and hoping the fog lifts soon.
Well, it may be happening. Its been said before that it may take something terrible to happen in someone's life in order for the penny to drop. I won't say what it is here, it is not illness, but it is going to make life difficult.
H has my full support, it is an unfortunate, but inevitable (in my opinion) event which has occurred. H has been a ticking bomb...as many of our MLC'ers are. We WILL get through this together.
Oh Gal, I'm so sorry about this. I wish you much strength and courage (which I KNOW you have) as you face this new obstacle.
Thinking of you, rH
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
