Beeped him at his break time today, knowing that might mean he would not call me tonight...however, the trim along my living room front wall floor and laminate flooring is pulling up and away from the flooring....asked him if he wanted me to get some nails and wood putty and toe nail it back down...he was ok about it...said no, he'd rather see it first...before I start pounding nails into it.. Told him I was rearranging living room to see where new chair might fit...(the chair isn't due here til early March)...he reminded me it wasn't going to get here for a few months...I said I knew that, but was taking breaks from writing by puttering around the house..he gave a suggestion on one way to place furniture...I said I would try it out... told him I didn't want to take up his whole break...and thought that it was important enough to beep him about floor problem, so I hoped to talk to him tonight..he said yeah, ok...not too enthusiastically, but not too horrible...also told him garbage is piling up...needs to be dealt with soon...should I hire someone to take care of it? (I don't drive and it has to be taken to the dump) He said if the birds weren't in it ..let it be for now... was going to go out with girlfriend tonight but she cancelled on me again...says Sunday night for sure...guess I will maybe hit an AA meeting...just to get out of the house... Am hoping that he calls early rather than me having to call him at 9 tonight...it would be a nice change for him to call me...am getting stronger in db'ing frame of mind...maybe tomorrow I won't call him or be available at all.. tonight..I still want my allowable agreed upon contact with him though....I still am missing him a lot....and gosh darn it am getting horny...something about his voice when he is quieter and more laid back with me...I guess that what I can't have turns me on...so maybe I need to see that from his point of view and try to turn him on by becoming less available to him...I know, I know....it's getting through my thick skull...slowly but surely....just still have huge fear that he is just leading me on to keep me from bothering him too much at work...he has not said I love you.. tonight..keep it light...ask about him...mention rearranging furniture...talk about decks going on this summer...the garage we had been planning..but as if we are still planning it...
