He told me this. Some other things were simply as I said the revisionist history. At one point I asked how many times have you two been together and split up. He actually said just the one with you.

Now mind you he had divorced her and married someone else and divorced the second woman and then even got back together with the first before I ever met him. When I say got back together, I mean that they apparently were trying to work it out or whatever. I even asked him today, how was I supposed to know that? You would come and stay with me for days and just go home to get clothes. Mind you this was before cell phones really. So he would spend days upon days with me and not really even have an opportunity to talk on the phone and still he claims they had only been split up the one time. It's just sort of amazing.

How could he even think only once? He made it sound like I just busted up their happy home. It's so ridiculous. And yes, I have had anger issues but frankly, I have rarely if ever taken it out on him. That really has just been an issue within the last 6 months or so.

I felt before that he was projecting on me. I still sort of believe that. He keeps going on about the anger and in truth it has been the other way around. So I just don't even know. I know DB'ing is about detaching. I now want to. Really want to. Not out of anger. Not out of spite. I just really don't want anything to do with him right now. That may change but I don't know.

It really infuriates me that he speaks with her more than he bothers to speak with his kids. They said today we haven't hardly seen him in 2 weeks. They did spend last Saturday evening with him here. Otherwise, that's been it. And he hasn't called. Yet if I mention moving or anything he has a coronary. My thoughts are that if it is over there is really no reason for me to stay here in this area. I have no friends, or family here. It is only his family. There is nothing keeping me here except for school. No support in any way. That is a big part of my fears I think in being by myself that so long as I am here I am well and truly on my own. Even if I have a flat tire there is not anyone I could call and that's just scary as hell. So I seriously have considered moving home.

So I am still confused and not sure in this particular moment in time that I even want to proceed or hope for anything with him. It makes me mad as hell and again I know deep down I deserve better. This is twice. How many times do you let someone disrespect and walk out before you say stay out?

This is what I am struggling with today.

As always, thanks guys for listening.

I also deleted his number out of my phone to remove the desire to call or text. I also removed it from my computer (mac&iphone) so now I can't call even if I want to! Bah! I can go through the process of looking it up if I have to because I do not know it. However, it will give me a moment to really consider if I need or want to talk to him.