Said that if it is ok she wants to stop and check on us in the evenings.
Decide what boundary you want to set for that. Are you letting her walk in like she still lives there? Or does she need to knock and wait for you to answer? Let her know what your boundary is. Also let her know if it's OK to come by any old time, or if she needs to call first or what. If it were me I'd tell her to knock and I'd tell her to arrange visits with you beforehand. She needs to start experiencing what it's like to no longer be a part of the family and to feel a bit like an outsider.
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It is nice to see her but sort of strange when she said that coming to the house makes her sick. Is this normal and is this a good sign??
It makes her sick to come over? I haven't heard that one before.
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I told her that I would leave her on my health insurance, car insurance, and that i would continue to pay her car payment. She does not make enough to supply these needs yet.
I would give her a deadline on that. It's fine that you want to help, but she left and she needs to start feeling the ramifications of her decision. So tell her you'll pay the car payment and insurance for 3 months (or whatever term you decide) and after that she needs to make her own arrangements. That would be appropriate. Paying these costs indefinitely is just being a doormat.
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I am really trying to be the best friend anyone could have through this. But I do want to be careful and not be her sugar daddy and using this for expectations or false hopes.
I think you're exactly right, and that will be the perception if you keep paying indefinitely.
