I'm pretty shattered at the moment. The blow-out I had with OW has taken a bit of a toll.
Probably wasn't worth the damage caused to everything, but then again, I don't know if I'd feel much better if I'd just sat there and let her walk triumphantly over my D16's recital with no consequences at a ll.
On vero's question: Why so vindictive to OW?
In my case, I was pretty chilled towards the idea of her and ready to ignore her if I saw her out and about with my stbx.
But when i heard that she was planning to come to my D16's school concert - I think my protective mother instincts kicked in.
I just flipped out when i saw her sitting there like nothing was out of the ordinary. Then I saw D16 straining to see me in the audience as she played her solo. Whenever she looked at me, she saw OW's lupine visage in front of mine (I had to sit behind her). I'm happy (well, not happy; but accepting of) to let OW and stbx do their thing, but if OW tries to muscle in on my kids in unnecessary ways - I'm going to step in.
Any reasonable person would not have attended an intimate performance where the daughter of the man one was having an affair with was playing - and where her mother, the man's wife, was also in attendance.
That, to me was preposterous. And I felt if i let it go without comment, it would be taken as free rein to continue the practice at both my children's schools. I asked stbx to ask her not to go and he told me to phone her myself and tell her as "he was not getting in the middle between the two of us". He said he felt he was being manipulated and I think he meant from both sides.
My feelings of self-righteousness definitely got the better of me here. But quite frankly, at the time, i just acted. My kids were suffering because of that woman and I had to tell her so.
