I was pretty discouraged the day she left. Within a couple hours of the cats leaving, there was a mouse waving at me from the cupboard. Fearlessly! Then the pouring rain found a path in and I had to put a bucket inside to catch it. Then a warning light came on in my car. Yeesh!
I was on the road for work for a couple days and came back to hurricane forecasts. So, I spent several long days working on the roof, despite rain. Finally came in and hunkered down yesterday afternoon. The winds weren't too bad here, so my roof-in-progress survived. And it didn't rain inside at all!
P called to let me know she arrived home safely and that's the last I heard from her. I sent some things she forgot (and needed), which she should have received several days ago.
I'm sure she's busy, too. In the quiet moments, though, the all or nothing is harsh. Even when she was here, she wouldn't call me on the road unless she had a specific reason that was not at all related to "wanted to talk to you." That's just where she is right now.
...must keep thinking about T^2 and the feral cat...
I'm doing my piece. I took the next step in firming up winter plans. Still waiting for info back. (Wendy, we're planning a winter vacation together. It was originally going to be for 2-3 months. Now, P isn't wanting to be away more than a month.)
We worked long and hard, especially towards the end of P's visit. I wanted to make the most of the help I had on a limited time frame. P started waxing philosophical (in that maddening way of delivering pronouncements that I always fear is going onto the scorecard) about how I'm so intense and how she prefers a slower, balanced, pace. I pointed out that she had worked long hours on her roof. Yes, but that was because she had a limited time frame... I managed not to argue or defend myself.
The maddening part is that she sounds like she's just figured something out, or decided. And I hear it as "You are this way. I'm different. It proves I was right to leave." Okay, maybe that's a lot of mind reading. I managed to be low key in my responses, though. After one pronouncement about my intensity, which I badly wanted to "correct", I thought for a very long time before offering up, "You are better at changing gears." Yes! She agreed with that insight and went back to analyzing my "intense" behavior. Sigh.
Isn't that interesting? I tell myself that this is the period where we get to see who the other really is. I'm observing and clearly she is doing the same. I don't like all the conclusions she comes to, or how she may be using them to justify her choices. I can't do anything about it, though. (I hate that!)
Focus on my path and let her figure out hers. She had asked me to send her photos as the roof work progresses. Part of me thinks I should give her space and let her lead on making contact. I'm not sure how well that's been "working". And I agreed to keep her posted... Well, maybe I'll get more info on the winter vacation soon and then I can contact her with an excuse that doesn't sound anything like "wanted to talk to you".
