he decided he wanted to be in her life now and so just decided to move out,no warning!we all live in the same small town. I just don't understand,I have accepted his daughter and told him she is welcome in our family .of course I did all the wrong things at the start but ever since I've been reading on this site I've been using these methods ,but to no avail.he stops to visit a lot but we never talk about R.I just don't get it,he says there is no one else.any suggestions?
How long ago did he move out? These things take a lot of time to resolve, so you mentioned you've been DB'ing "to no avail" but if it's been weeks or even a couple of months you need to accept that it's a long, slow process and usually takes at least a few months before you even start to see positive signs and can take much longer to get to reconciliation. Just stick with the DB'ing and be patient.
Granted your H said he left because of D18, but that can't be the only reason. Do some soul searching and determine what you contributed to the marital problems, and do 180's on those things. Make them a permanent part of the new you. Give your H time and space, he'll notice your changes but it'll take time for him to believe they're permanent. Work on a PMA (positive mental attitude). You want to be happy and confident whereever you go. Since you're in a small town, people you talk to WILL be reporting back to your H. What you want them saying is "I saw W today and she seemed so upbeat and confident! I don't know what she's up to but it's really making her happy!"
