You and your h are at the place we are....2 wounded animals attacking each other. You and your h hurt so badly, you each want the hurt to stop, but you love each other yet you hurt each other out of your insecurities so then you each withdrawn and get nowhere.
My mc told me yesterday that our greatest enemy in this is ourselves and that we do not know how to be nice to each other. Your assumptions, your past hurts are coloring how you react to what your h says and does...and the same for him.
Listen carefully to what your h is saying...do not put yourself into it. In other words, do not read into his words take them for what they are do not assume he doesn't care if that is not what he is actually saying.
Oh, and play nice! My MC not in a belittling way told me to get the book "everything I learned I learned in Kindergarten" and READ IT! Just to get the basics of being nice ...sometimes in the fight for the m we loose sight of common courtesies.
Oh, and some Basic rules of marriage: 1. always return your spouse's calls right away, 2. your spouse should know where you are at any given time, 3. be very clear and specific about what, where, when and who.
Some of this may not suit your sitch but use what you can. Many a time my h and I have thrown in the towel...but our love keeps us coming back to try again. As long as you love him, keep trying....nothing wrong in calling him to say sorry...that is the right thing to do.
...sometimes in the fight for the m we loose sight of common courtesies.
