I used to think that H loved me no matter what, even if he was cruel and distant. I knew that he loved me. Now, I'm not so sure. The texts that I read were pretty much cold and callous, not emotional and weepy. I don't see any signs of love or much caring now and I feel like there's a chance he may have turned off for good, or at least for now. But he does try now and then, and I think backing off the back rubs might help create some demand.
I can't speak for your H, but this sounds a lot like me, and my W has said things almost verbatim to me.
On the bright side, she was right. My W is the love of my life and I am so fortunate to have her. Unfortunately, there was a whole bunch of crap that got in the way of me showing her....my insecurity, anger, hurt, lack of communication skills. I really didn't have a good idea how to show my W I loved her, even if I didn't have all the baggage and problems.
And with regards to sounding cold and hateful, this is our shield. It is how we protect ourselves, how we feel better about our lives, how we feel strength in moving forward. Remember, believe nothing of what they say and only half of what they do.
If you are going to assume something, don't let it be that he doesn't love you....let it be that he doesn't understand how to love you.
