Riding the Bull

[Arsene]

Well, that was quick. Within the hour they were back with 3 hamsters and a cage. D8 is delighted. That meant that we were now to spend the rest of the day together. I wasn't in the mood to be around W all day so I tried to give them space to be together and at one point went out in the back yard just to sit and meditate.

Just curious. Is any of this^^ behavior also something you two did in the past? Like you retreating and disconnecting from her and d8?


No it isn't. It's just the sitch which sometimes makes it uncomfortable to be in the same small house.

I listened and validated but nothing much was said as D8 ended up being around most of the time.

Sounds as if D8 likes feeling like part of a family.

Yes she does and I don't resent her that. In fact, I love it when the three of us are together.

RE: the phone incident, I was calm when I looked at the phone but after she took it away in such an obvious manner the thought crossed my mind that it was probably OM. Re: conversational skills, She wasn't answering it but the phone kept beeping every once in a while. She usually looks at it when there is a break and I move away. Re; me being cold, it was just that. No anger or rudeness, just no warmth.

I know I need to detach more and try not to be affected by this. I'm working on it. You are right that hopefully I could come out looking good as in my view it is a sign of immaturity and insecurity. I once found a convo between them on D8's phone (W had borrowed it for a week while her phone was getting fixed) and the gist of it was:"Hi hon!" "hi" "what's up?" "nothing, what about you?" "sorry it took a while, I ran out of credit, lol" - Kind of teenager in love thing. It surprises me that W actually goes for that. We used to talk about people doing that and found them annoying.

Maybe she is just really head-over-heels head-in-the-fog right now, but I hope that if she does come out of it ever so slightly, she will probably get annoyed by it again.

RE: the way we communicate. not really, we use to communicate very well (at least I thought we did) but now it seems she wasn't really telling me anything. I'm the kind who has his heart on his sleeve and who used to say it like it was so she always knew exactly where she stood, she on the other hand, sounds like she kept it all in.

I hope that she will feel safe enough to open up more when she decides to talk about us (if she ever does).

In the meantime I need to DETACH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks 25