Okay, here's one for the LBS'ers. Please tell me what you see is going on here, because this is the sort of thing that's happening constantly in my M that is causing me to leave.
C: BTW, if you’re going to help me out by taking S12 to school, then I need for him to be there on time. You were late this morning. H: No we weren’t. I even asked S12. C: Yes, you were. He’s late at 7:50 and you didn’t even leave the house until 7:50. H: No, we weren’t. There were even other cars arriving the same time we were. C: That doesn’t mean you weren’t late, that just means they were late, too. The student handbook says he’s supposed to be there by 7:50. After 7:55, he’s supposed to arrive with a written excuse. After 8:00, the guardian is supposed to walk into the school with him and the note. H: Well I didn’t realize you read the student handbook. C: Okay, but you do realize I’ve been managing getting him to school since he was in pre-kindergarten. Wouldn’t that at least give me some credibility that I might know what time he needs to be there, regardless of my source? H: Well I take him sometimes, too, and he said he wasn’t late. C: Well perhaps I’m wrong. (C goes to her laptop and opens the online student handbook and reads the section about school start.) Okay, I’m wrong. It changed from last year. It says their preferred drop-off time is 7:45. (C reads the paragraph outloud.) H: (H yells to the kitchen to where S12 is making a drink.) S12, were you late for school this morning? C: OMG!!!! Why are you asking him? I just read it straight from the student handbook published by the school. I understand that you give me zero credibility, but how can you discount the published school policy? Do you think I was lying as I read it to you? Do you need to go online and read it yourself?? Nevermind. Just forget it. I don’t need your help getting S12 to school. I want him to be there in accordance with school policy, so I will get him there myself. You are not doing me any favors when this is what I have to deal with.
I get constant bickering, zero credibility. It seems like if I say the sky is blue, I'll get an argument. I've taken a position of sharing absolutely nothing with him so he has nothing to contradict.
Your thoughts?
Fundamental your communication is broken. You kept insisting he was wrong multiple times. Make it clear one time and then remember if he helped drop your S12 before and if he did was he late back then?
Are you pointing out his negatives on this subject because he is constantly late or was late 2 out of 10 times?
Finally did you try praising him when he helped you drop off S12.
I think it would of been far more effective to say "thank you H, give a kiss on the cheek for helping to drop S12 but can you make sure he is on time (with a smile on your face)"
It might speak one of his love languages and then throw in guilt to win the argument.
On his end, he needs to better communicate too but as a guy, I can tell you he was probably thinking I did drop him off but you kept baiting him for argument, so he was giving you sarcastic answers. He felt unappreciated because you quickly pointed the flaws out, especially if he has dropped you S12 in the past with no issues.
