I think I see the picnic!

[2chiquitos]

RegretfulLA,
I'm amazed at the things I could've done had I reacted on my anger. I could've been sent to jail, seriously!

Well, I was brave today. I asked H out on a date. I said, how about we go out to eat and leave the kids with your mom. He looked at me like, Why, what do you want to talk about? I said, just cuz, we don't have to "talk". He said, oh so we'll just be mute (laughing). I said, no you know what I mean no heavy R talk. He said, yeah that sounds really nice.

Ok. so what the heck am I doing? you're probably wondering. This is not practicing detachment! No, it's not but last weeks conversation sparked something in me. Also, it helped not to see him so much this last week. I missed him but not enough to want to go back to our old arrangement.

I looked up Retrouvaille. I want to bring it up to him but on another occasion. I have a feeling he'll say, yes.

Also wanted to give more detail about last weeks conversation.
I brought up why I think our R wasn't going well. He said, you still sound upset and resentful about that stuff. I said, that's not what I'm upset about. I'm mad that you had to f$k me over in order to learn all this.

So yeah, it was totally coming from a place of anger and hurt.

Today at IC she said, you can only work on yourself. He can help you to work on that anger. He also has a role to play here.

That got me thinking. Yeah there are 30% of marriages that reconcile because resentment breaks them apart, but is the WAS willing to work on this resentment or are they afraid? How much of it is resentment and how much of it is the WAS fault for not helping to mend the R on their end?