Stop this crazy train I want to get off!!!

[Norfolkdumpling]

Wishing, you sound like you are doing so well under extremely trying circumstances. Can I just say, I agree with S? If your H isn't there by 1615hrs, out the door you go. Have fun. X

[wishing, hoping]

Well trick or treat does not start until 5 so there is a bit if wiggle room. I just think he will be here at 4:00 to prove a point or maybe he is sooooo out of touch it won't Even phase him? Time will tell. Neither one will surprise me whatsoever.

Thanks Norfolk Dumpling. I have been at this not quite a year but it feels like five. I have had enough time and soul searching to know that I want and deserve something better. So do my kids. For a long time I felt like it was my fault but the more the truth came out the more I realized there was nothing I could have done to stop him. He was on a path and one thing about H is once he has his mind made up neither hell nor high water could stop him. Even tr threat of utter failure. Didn't matter. He was on his path and nothing could convince him otherwise.

I am ready to move on. I don't want another relationship but I want my life. I want my own home, my kids and my life. I do not want him controlling things anymore. I am tired of fighting. But that doesn't mean I am giving up what I want or need.

[Norfolkdumpling]

W,

Funny, I often think my H has made his mind up and because of the man he is it's done. But then I remember he also appeared to have made up his mind when he married me! I wasn't holding a gun to his head, sure you weren't either hun. Revision of our history together really winds me up.

Yet, I get it, a year in and you need to do something for you. I'm not even 8 weeks into BD2 and exhausted already. Props to you for your stamina.

Enjoy your trick or treating, it's the little things that bring me joy. It's the little things we fight for. X

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks ND. H called at 4:15 and said he would be there "in a few minutes". 20 minutes later he was home and asked if the kids were ready. I said no. Guess who got them ready? Wasn't him. Then of course the dog and pony show about taking pictures to document that he was actually here. That's a bone of contention I always had with H. He is a photo fiend. Wants to document every moment of the day taking pictures to the point of annoyance. I like to take photos but I also like to enjoy the moment and have the memories. It always seemed he was going overboard with the photos.

[wishing, hoping]

H is actually home tonight and acting somewhat "normal". It's weird but I am not getting sucked in. He even tried to make smalltalk with me. I smiled and was polite and a bit friendly. But that's it.

We are meeting S's counselor tomorrow. I hope we can get on the same page once and for all. It would be nice to resolve an issue without fighting.

[job]

When you meet w/your son's counselor, stay calm and keep your voice in a very calm and soothing tone. If your h wants to fight, don't engage, excuse yourself and go to ladies' room and then return. If he wants to pick a fight later, walk away...you know what your son needs more than he does right now.

[wishing, hoping]

So success. H said in front of the counselor that he is okay With S seeingthe counselor. He of course made it out that it was all my fault and claimed there was an email from July 23 where he said counseling was acceptable. Why has there been such a gap? To which I responded if you wanted to meet The counselor and get informed on S's condition why did you wait until now to meet with C? He was speechless. Utterly speechless. He was like a deer in the headlights. At the end we made appointments together. The receptionist gave me a card with future appointments, looked at me and asked if we should make a copy and gestured toward H (who wasn't looking right then). I said that's probably a good idea. She then asked if I wanted a reminder call and I said yes and turned to H and asked if he wanted one too. He said he would put it in his calendar.

Then I get a call from the mediator stating H wants to meet next week. I said I had gotten a call from my lawyer who talked to H's lawyer and wants to have a four way meeting. H wants to get this all done by next week because his attorney is going On maternity leave (poor H). I explained to the mediator and the lawyer that vacation time is slim and sick time is gone and unlike H I am an hourly employee and have to make up the time I miss. Plus we are down a person in our office and this is a really busy season. H is furious. Again I am just dragging things out. No, my schedule is important too. It's not all about H. And if his attorney is going on maternity leave that's not my problem. He's probably out of retainer (I know because I am) and that means OW will need to cough up more moola. Oh but it's all for luv.

In other matters H must have bought stock in a certain department store because I see shopping bags all over the floor of his room. He has a brand new wardrobe too. Things he made fun of people wearing just a few years ago. I want to shout just who are you trying to be? I don't even know this guy anymore. He's a total stranger.

[BklynMom]

That is exactly the way I feel when I see my h - who is this stranger. It is not the man I married.

Over a year in and my young kids are starting to show signs that they are upset. (my h thinks I am putting them up to this). But like you it breaks my heart and there is nothing I can say or do to change it.

This is not the man I married. I pray for him but for now I need to protect me and my girls.

Stay positive. Your h is a wackado.

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks BK. He IS a wackadoo! More and more people are starting to see it. If we have this four way meeting with the lawyers perhaps his lawyer will see I am not a cold vindictive beeatch but a woman who loves her kids and is trying to make the best of a crappy situation. I wonder what lies he has told his attorney?

He asked me if I was prepared for the meeting on Thursday and I said I am not meeting anyone Thursday that's too short notice and my work schedule is chock full. He asked well when is it gonna happen? I said I would have to talk to my lawyer and look at my schedule and I refuse to commit at this point.

I just laugh at him when he wears his new clothes. And he is the one who gave me the "I am not materialistic" speech when he dropped the bomb. Whatever. He is dressing in a completely different fashion that he has EVER worn.MIT is almost like he is trying to totally recreate himself and start completely over.

[job]

wishing,
That is exactly what he is trying to do, i.e., recreate himself and start over. He is peeling each layer of self away and is trying on different masks to see which one will fit the best. Has he changed his hairstyle yet?

His lawyer most likely is aware that he's having a mlc. They see them all of the time and guess what...they don't care and will chalk up the billable hours just to keep him coming back and padding their pockets. They aren't going to disagree w/their client because they see him coming! LOL!

I'm glad to see that you are standing your ground and not allowing him to push you into a meeting this week. You need time to meet w/your lawyer and prepare for this meeting.

Good luck!