Retrovaille IS for couples only. It's for marriages in crisis, but it has a high success rate, considering. It's not as religious as some folks think (if that's an issue for your h b/c some people have issues with organized religion).
My h is anti religion, but I think there are workarounds for attending this kind of thing. I would love to.
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Also - for EE the other good news is that they provide the housing if you need it, so all you have to do is get there and not worry about a lot of added expenses. (Also, the tuition is about what it was when I attended in 1989...so, that is not bad.)
That does help - I'll look into it again.
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So is the "reptile" thing a pet you have?
Yes it's a snake we have, and he's so cute. He looks like a little baby.
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Oh and neither of you wants to have kids, correct? Was that ever an issue of contention?
We both actually wanted kids, but for some reason it didn't seem to happen. I would still love to have kids, although my body may not agree, I don't know. My benefits just kicked in, so that was tops on my list to do - go to a doctor about it.
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Are your families nearby? Are they supportive?
His family is out of the country, and mine are on the east coast. Both families are very supportive, although I rely on mine a lot more. He tends toward working most things out alone, occasionally (once that I know of years ago) he spoke to his older brother about us.
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What Did forgiveness look like when you were growing up? What was your parent's marriage like, and what was your h's parent's m like?
In my house forgiveness was not something that was really talked about. Flaring tempers were normal, or stuffing everything and acting like there was nothing wrong. A lot was going on "under the surface" for everyone. Most of my brothers were in trouble in one sort or another, prison, fighting, etc.
My h had more of a normal household from what I could tell. I don't know how they viewed forgiveness, but they're all very close to this day, so I suppose something is working. They're an awesome bunch.
My parents were never married. My Dad had a wife and lived with my brother and I and my mom when he wasn't with his wife and daughter, I suppose. I didn't know this until I was a teen. We only saw him every so often. He died when I was small. My mother did marry my stepdad and they were married 25 years or so. She passed away in 97. Their relationship started out very rocky, (yelling, fighting, no violence though) and then became very loving and admirable over the years (she became a psychoanalyst). They went through a lot. He was there for her every minute when she was sick up until she passed.
My h's parents have been married forever it seems like. I think they just celebrated 50 years. All of his brothers and sisters are also still married to their first loves. I don't know why we're so tumultuous in comparison! Well, I kind of do. I think his parents had one incident where his mom left his dad, or was about to due to his drinking. But I think he stopped, and she stayed. They're a very cute couple and we spent some time with them last summer. They love me and vice versa!
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Sometimes we have to release some of what we "inherited" from our parents....if it's not helping us. (You'll be able to do that at EE btw)
Good luck BG.
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I think that's a very good idea. I hope to learn how to do that. I'm ready! Thank you for sharing your insights with me....
