5 months in

[Tessa2012]

Hi rkyfat73.

I hope your having a good day. I appreciate your input.

But u can set boundaries to protect yourself. I expect it will be much more difficult to detach when H is doing favours for OW under ur very nose.

I haven't been able to figure out the boundaries just yet. Since he's rarely at home I don't have much of an opportunity to see him. H stops by and sees OW about 1-2x a week to visit. Sometimes she has her D and other times she doesn't. Since his "place" is close to her, it's easy for him to stop over, see her and do favors for her.

Have u been able to figure out what need she is fulfilling? Obviously not physical but she must fulfill some need for him to go there. That cld really help you with making you the better option.

I haven't been able to figure it out. I know that he supported her through her M problems and D. Now she's doing the same for him. My C and I were talking today and it seems like he wants to be the hero that helps the damsel in distress.

WHen we first met, he helped me get away from a bad room-mate situation at school. I could talk with him about the problems I was having and he would help me to keep my mind of off the issues at my apartment. Now, he's helping OW with her problems at home and she is free to contact him to help her or to do things for her. So I can only guess that he misses being depended on to resolve everything.

The frustrating part is that during the 1 C session that he attended with me, he mentioned being tired of doing things to make other people happy and now he's going to concentrate on making himself happy. Isn't that exactly what he's doing for her??