Sounds like you have a little more clarity. Now you have to actually learn to DB and find what will work.
As to the comment that I quote above... get used to it man. The first thing that you need to understand is that she does not see the situation the same as you. She is divorced from you emotionally... That means that you are divorced. So don't expect dinner, tender kisses goodnight, to hear 'I love you', etc. You are no longer married. Accept that and then you can begin...
Your broad goals need to be 1) work on improving yourself, becoming the man that YOU want to be, 1a) Creating a whole new R/M with your W.
Goal # 1 is necessary for goal 1a.
And if you fail to achieve goal 1a? You walk out of this a better man.
That's why you can't lose IF you actually put your mind to this.
First off, thanks for sticking around Denver. I can imaging its frustrating on you end. As far as the what I had said about dinner, Believe me, I know that the W and I are in two different places when it comes to the R. I DO NOT expect her to have dinner waiting on me when I get home from work, ir hugs and kisses, or anything. What I want is for her to at least SHARE the responsibility with the kids and home. It seems she has absolutely NO desire for being a mother either. I know it sounds harsh, but thats what it seems like.
I would like for her to help with the cooking, yes to assist me, but more for the kids. My wife seems to stay in our room (more like her room now) pretty much the entire evening. She comes down when its time for dinner, or she wants to talk, but then right back to the MBR.
I have continued to give her space and not follow her around. I pretty much stay downstairs with the kids and watch tv with them, play, etc. The crazy thing is, things have all in all been really good between the W and I. We have been talking a lot. When she wants to of course. She has called me a couple of times at work to share news. Last week, she called me out of the blue to tell me that she had a job interview at a place where she applied. She really shows interest in working here. I told her “congratulations on getting the interview and told her I was proud of her” The last couple of days she has distanced herself a little more but I have not really let it bother me. I continue to doing what I need to do, and I act as if I am happy as hell doing it, which for the most part I am. I love hanging out with my kids, cooking for them, etc.. Oh well. More to follow.
