So after yesterdays blast, I had a nice civilised conversation with W re her moving out arrangements and how we would care for Son going forwards. I remained calm but assertive in what I wanted. My main concern was living arrangements for S.
W was taken back when I said I wanted S Friday night to Monday morning when I would drop him at school. She said I did'nt think you would want him all weekend and I could tell in her face she was not expecting me to ask for that! She said it would feel weird and stuttered a bit looking for a reason to say no. When I said that it isnt really negotiable, that it would make sense given I do so much more with him now at weekends and that with work, it would be difficult for me to spend quality time with him in the week, she agreed.
Truth is the old me probably would'nt have asked for this - his special needs mean he is a handful at times. But the last few weeks relationship with S has blossomed.
So I achieved a 180 without trying
It is also likely that step son will stay with me more when he is home from College as our house is nearer to his friends and girlfriend.
So my worry about an empty house has gone. I also get to keep the dog
W agreed with me that our house should stay the same (thanks AS). She would only like to take the TV, 1 wardrobe from eldest S room, dining table and S bed. I agreed to the TV and dining table (easily replaced). I said I would pay for new bed (for S)and wardrobe for her place as it would prob cost more to move them than buy new. She has also managed to get some 2nd hand furniture from various friends which she will make do with for the time being. Oh she also wanted bedding and towels which I agreed to!! easily replaced.
W then started to talk about her place needing lots of cleaning, work doing etc. I said sorry but she is on her own with that one. I could tell she was waiting for me to volunteer given the conversation was going so well (the old me would have done). She looked a bit shocked at first but then said thats fine and asked if I could help with S whilst she sorts her new place. I agreed but also informed her of the dates in the next few weeks when I have my own plans so would not be around. She said absoloutely fine and she could work around that.
Its the first civilised conversation we have had since BD. All in all I felt this was a good step for me personally and W did seem to show me more respect in her interactions with me.
