So sorry for your pain, I am a newbie but feel like a vet as every minute of this insanity seems like a year.
My H has moved out and is pretty much living with OW2, so absolutely agree with Snodderly that if it wasn't her it'd be someone else. Doesn't stop it hurting but makes me utterly determined to never ever give her one more moment of power over my life. The start of Oct was heinous as he was in full monster mode and I reciprocated. After seeing her posts on FB I realised how crazy I'd been to allow the baggage any headspace or power. From that moment I have been pacific, zen, calm, use whatever adjective works for you. But just keep on that track. Be light, calm, and DO NOT contact him. Even if he rings you and leaves a message, don't call back.
It is exceedingly hard to do, but I promise you it does get easier. Just keep practicing it sweetheart. I too was a bit of a distancer, (somewhat in response to his emotional shut down and a year of pursuing him without response) so I also struggle with finding constructive things to do.
Yet I have realised I just need to get on with my life. It isn't what I want but in truth I've had a lot of fun these last couple of months. I've forced myself outside my comfort zone, and mostly it's been cool. I would recommend you just try to accept things as they are. Yeah, I know easy to say right?! But I have found the more I resist this sh@t the harder it gets, and the more he moves away from me. Do I still hurt? Absolutely. Will I be fine in the end? For sure. It's just difficult watching him act like an 18 year old loon, but nothing I've done so far has had any impact so now I'm determined to manufacture my life and make it fabulous. If he comes back to me great. If not, so be it.
You can get through this and you will. Stay strong honey. Peace. X
