It's been a couple of months since you started posting, so maybe it's a good time to read back thru your threads. I went back and pulled some of my first post out, because as I read it, I think my advice is still the same.
Maybe it's time you think about moving back into the MBR?
Originally Posted By: Breakdown
First, I strongly agree with the folks here that are saying you need to stand up for yourself. When my W and I talk about my behavior in the past, I think the best thing she could have done was stand up to me and say "hey, this is not acceptable...I will not allow you to treat me this way." She thought she was showing love by supporting me, but her allowing me to be an @sshole at times just allowed me to continue to be one.
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The thing I really worry about reading your whole sitch is that everything you do seems to be a veiled "sorry." You make him breakfast (sorry), you clean up after him (sorry), you rub his back (sorry), you ML with him (sorry). Maybe I'm misreading that, but if that is the case, I would encourage you to steer clear from it. Apologize for your behavior, explain that you'd like to work on it with him, reestablishing trust, figuring out what issues caused the EAs, but don't do things you don't want to do because you feel guilty. If you continue down that path, how will your M be different a year from now?
With regards to the LL...my W's is words of affirmation too. And for an insecure person, that's a terrible mismatch. I tore my W down year after year....judgement and criticism were easier to come by than a compliment. If that's the same thing for you and your H, you're going to have to address it at some point, or again, you're not going to get what you need and you're going to eventually break away from the M again in some fashion. I'm not saying now's the time because at this point, you don't want to scare him off, but I do think it goes to what I said above...stand up for yourself. Do not accept the criticism and judgment.
