I just found the bomb of info... W left her email open on the family computer. 1. Her crazy friend is helping her find apartments. 2. She received a poem from crazy friend about how everyone gets hurt sometime. It read as a poem about justifying her actions. 3. W forwarded this poem to suspected OM at her work. 4. W has a mirror picture of suspected OM wearing nothing but a towel, barely cover his junk.
I don't know what's to do with this info.
Nothing, do nothing. You found it because you were snooping. You shouldn't have been snooping. If you say anything about it she'll know you were snooping and she will know you don't trust her. It will be a huge setback. Just forget it. So he sent her a picture, you don't know what her reaction was. She may have thought "gross, why did he send this to me?" Men like women to send half-naked pictures to them. Women do not like men to send half-naked pictures to them. But men think women like it because men do. Mars and Venus.
Originally Posted By: someguy1233
As we drove to the party she talked about happiness. She said has no plan. Has no idea what to do. She said she still hasn't talked to a lawyer.
Does she read books? If so you might think about getting her The Happiness Trap. It's an interesting book that talks about the whole concept of how Hollywood and society have totally skewed our views on what happiness and other emotions are. Happiness is one of many emotions we experience throughout the day. The book teaches that we can experience these emotions regardless of what they are without letting them change our worldview, and that we should allow all emotions rather than labeling some "good" and others "bad" and trying to embrace good ones while rejecting bad ones. Chasing happiness is EXACTLY what makes people unhappy. Your W's confusion is a good thing, it points to her understanding that leaving is probably not going to bring the "happiness" she thinks she wants.
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She believes part of the marriage vows are to think of spouses happiness as much as your own. And that she thinks that I could maybe be happier because she isn't 100% committed.
Again, it's a misconception that we should be "happy" all the time. The book will help with that understanding. We can be "content" while experiencing a very wide range of emotions from day-to-day and even minute-to-minute.
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When we got home she gave me a hug and a quick kiss on the lips. And thanked me for hanging out with her. Moments later she gave me another hug and thanked me for buying the drinks at the bar. She said, "it felt like a date. It was weird."
Awesome baby step!!!
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As I was leaving she said I could sleep there- that she didn't mind. So we slept in the same bed for the first time in nearly 2-3 weeks.
Even better baby step!!!
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I has to remind myself not to put any value in her actions or comments since she was drinking.
Baby steps are to be celebrated internally, but externally act "as if" and stick with your DB'ing. There is no reason not to get excited about baby steps
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When we were putting S to bed she looked me in the eyes and said, "you know... you really are the best dad in the world. You know that, right?"
There it is again, great baby step!
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I knew she was feeling different when she laid down on the uncomfortable couch next to me.
And again!
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She brought up quitting her job and finding a way to stay home with S. This is something that we had discussed months ago as a possible goal.
And again!! Talking about the future, with you and S. This is all really fantastic!! I think you're so convinced there's no future that you're afraid to see all these steps, but man, from someone outside your sitch these all add up to huge progress!
