I've been DBing and DBing, yesterday I said hi when I saw him and he barely responded. His mood is still completely dark and his face was contorted, I don't know how else to describe it! Then I thought maybe I should ignore him completely.

Today when he came inside I made a quick comment that there's food here if he wants it. He didn't even respond to me. I didn't say a word about it but it hurt a lot. I'm wondering a few things.

1) Is this normal? Why do they behave angry and like we're to be completely avoided? If you're angry and you've decided you want to leave me, what is there to be angry about?

2) How do I detach with love when I can't even say hi without a weird reaction? I'm trying to detach from his behavior by not responding to it at all, but am I supposed to be acting like he's not there at all? That seems like stooping to his level.

3) For your own sanity, how do / did you guys need to view your spouses when they were behaving unlike themselves and said they were leaving you? If they're not currently acting anything like the people you know, yet you're still married to them and (sort of) living with them - do you try and just view them as a sick friend?

4) What is acting as if? Does that mean acting as if things are normal, or acting as if you're happy, or what?

5) How do you know if your spouse is in a MLC or just "fell out of love"?


6) I feel like in some ways, I'm mostly to blame for what's happening. While I know that can't be completely true, I wonder if there are others of you who were able to eventually regain your marriages - yet you knew you were not a perfect spouse either? I guess what I'm getting at is, do they sometimes give us a second chance?

7) Is it normal sometimes to vacillate between long moments or days of feeling like I'm totally fine and ok and peaceful about this, almost like it isn't happening - and then having moments of feeling nothing for this person? It's almost like complete contentment and then being numb about them. As if it's happening and I'm not a part of it.

I feel like nothing I do right now makes any difference. I know it's only been about a week and a half, but I feel like I'm putting up with something. Aside from doing my DBing and GAL, how do I set boundaries without being cold myself? I want to keep centered, but I don't understand how someone not only decides to leave, but becomes cold and distant for weeks on end.

This isn't to say that I'm abandoning the work I have to do on me. I'm doing that no matter what. I don't want to be that girl anymore - with or without him. I think I just need some strength. This is so odd and foreign to me.