If he did, he'd probably have talked himself out of trying to return b/c he'd have seen the mountain as too high to climb. As my DB coach said, If you want to have a chance to reconcile (& for now let's say you do), then..you have to Keep the Road Home Paved & Smooth
wow- you know, that is a very very worthy perspective. i hadn't quite ever looked at it like that. when you say be a lighthouse i like the mental picture- and i love the idea of "sav\fe haven" and "home". it's something i always felt about my home and mom & family & life in general. (it's sooooo WHO I AM) - still do (even tho i'm ancient). i can see in my life & my entire mentality the NEED to have a homebase and a "gang" to be part of.
that being said- h never ever has. never felt it- never had it (i guess) his mom left with the baby brother- he stayed with nazi father- he has no notion (other than me maybe) of home and stability & "there forever".
i wonder sometimes- he elected to be with a person "like me" for quite a long long time.
your advice is sound i think.
i personally, some days, find the "mountain too big". it makes me stay back and not move forward or toward him. i know according to db and giving them space that's what i should do, stay back .
HOWEVER mentally- i find myself thinking sometimes it's too far to go "back" and i "CAN'T". I KNOW, it's not a very positive attitude- but i don't act on it- i merely float forward i think. but i do GET the MOUNTAIN idea. some days it seems so to me too....
the wind is picking up- i'm watching a tree next door - it's old old old, and probably 80 or 100 ft. hi - sway - and i'm hoping if it (or any of the five or six others in neighbor's yards - so big they can reach my house) won't blow over. it's scary watching them. (all the media hype).
i've turned off tv and am not watching- makes me crazy. going to go have a hot bath & read. hope we keep electricity - ta da...
thanks for that thought/realization. i will bang myself on the head with it also- it's true i'd think. so , like, what? thank goodness they're dense and can't know the havoc they've wrought in others' lives? and can't see how high the mountain is that they've built between them and those that love them? this girl doesn't know
i'm going to take today off from thinking & chores, to do-s, projects - anything in life "I should be doing" and just chill if possible. i'm sooooo tired of trying - today. sounds dramatic- this h & r, my mom (planted a friend with her so don't even have to know she's alone) - this stinking storm and 2 days of rushing around like mad - my sisters & the drama - you name it. FREE - FREE - FREE (IF I don't get blown away- i'm home free). yay.....
i hope your mood/day improve. try and not think at all about anything in the universe. get your hammer out- picture me blowing away in my black, white & pink baggy fleece pj bottoms and a red cashmere sweater- flying away amidst leaves & debris holding my giant green umbrella and banging my own self over the head. i look like hell- maybe i'll wash my hair incase elctricty goes out and i can't dry it= it's sticking out allover theplace because i keep running out in the yard to ppick more flowers that are getting beat up by the wind - but are too glorious to go without being appreciated.
