Portia, The ache in your chest will not go away for quite some time. You are grieving for the loss of your marriage and the man your h once was. Allow those feelings to wash over you and then let them go. This is the time that you must be kind to yourself and do not expect to be Ms. Suzy Sunshine all of the time. It's okay to cry and have down moments.
Detaching takes time and you will learn the art of detaching as you walk the path. You will find that by detaching, you can find your balance once again and not get sucked into his drama.
Portia, the ow is nothing more than a bandaid. If he had not hooked up w/her, it would have been someone else. When they are in mlc, they are looking for someone to rescue, someone that will look up to them and ask nothing of them in return, at least in the beginning. I know it's difficult, but you need to try to turn your focus to something else when thoughts of the ow enter your mind.
Try not to look to far ahead as things could change very quickly. Keep your focus on on the here and now and the most important thing...keep your expectations at zero when it comes to your h and what you think he should or shouldn't be doing or saying. If your expectations are zero, you won't be disappointed.
I'm glad to read that you are thinking about what you want to do to GAL.
Hang in there. Things will get better in time. Don't be too hard on yourself...you are still very new to this journey.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
