Well, I have noticed XW behaving a little differently lately, like actually acknowledging my presence/existance. Says "hello" and "good morning." gasp ! Saturday night she actually called me (I was a at some friend's house watching fooball) to let me know she and S13 were going to see Argo and D18 was off to a halloween party. That kind of "touching base" with me is a first since the D. Seriously.
Oddly, the effect on me has been all negative. I catch myself wondering if she's finally seeing the loonacy of her MLC and life choices, and then I either get pissed off at myself for allowing my thoughts to go there or I get pissed at her for putting me through hell back in 2010/11 - or both.
I find that I am really emotionally better off just in the firm belief that she's gone, it's over, and that's it. In fact, since the D, I have been happy to be "free". I kinda dread the idea of her "emerging from the fog." Does that make any sense?
It does to me, 'cause deep down I think I am still really very disappointed/angry with her and whole world for the broken, fvcked up situation I found myself up in, and her being "nice" keeps me from moving beyond all that.
Anywho, still coping. Pic.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
