Mixed Signals From Walk-Away-Husband

[FierceHope]

My husband told me he did not love me and wants a divorce in mid-July this year. I did the usual begging for us to work on our marriage. I finally caved and told him "ok" a few weeks ago. He was just so unhappy and didn't WANT to save our marriage.

Since then, things have been weird. He wants to stay "friends." Of course. And while a part of me truly believes this, because he even admitted a month and a half ago that I was his "best friend right now," another, more cynical part of me thinks he only wants to be friends so that the divorce will be more amicable and cheaper.

We still live in the same house, and even sleep in the same bed! I just can't kick him out of the bedroom right now because it is NOT what I ultimately want. But it confuses the heck out of me!!!

In the first few months after he dropped the bomb on me, we both ended up traveling for work quite a lot AND had both our fathers visiting in between (they don't know yet). So, my husband said he was being lazy about not moving into the guest bedroom, because he'd just have to move back when company came over. This was when we were "trying" to work on our marriage. But since late September, we have both been home. And, when I finally agreed to "give" him the divorce three weeks ago, he still has not moved into the spare bedroom! The first few nights he wore more clothing to bed than usual, and he "mummified" himself with the blanket, tucking it under him to go to sleep. But when I commented on it, saying it was like he couldn't even touch me in his sleep, he made excuses, but untucked himself.

I told him the next morning that I was on the cusp of actually hating him, and he was shocked. He hugged me before leaving for work, and more that evening. And, while the number of hugs he's given me have dwindled since then, he's given me a hug every night in bed and held my hand while we go to sleep.

My question is WHY? Why does a person who wants out of a marriage still sleep next to their spouse? Yes, our bed IS more comfortable than the guest bed, but it's not a huge difference. And he doesn't close the bathroom door when using the toilet or shower like he did the first few weeks after dropping the bomb.

Except for the nightly hug and the lack of kisses and endearments, things are practically like they were before all of this! And I just don't understand why. It's driving me batty!

Can anyone please give me hope that he might still want me? About a month ago he told me that he finally realized that stuff/things mean nothing and that all he really has in this life is Time and he didn't want to spend it with me. But that's all we HAVE been doing! We still talk about things as before; he shares funny things from the internet; AND he's been talking about Christmas presents! I'm utterly confused.

Some basic info on us: me 36, him almost 42. Married 13.5 years, together 15. No children, but 3 cats. We met while we were both in the military; he is still a soldier. It may be naive, but I do not believe there is another person in the mix.

I am reading both DB and DR and am trying my best to detach and do 180's. I have done a lot of soul searching these past few months, and I've been working on my issues. I'm not perfect; never will be. But I CAN become a better person. I have not brought up our marriage since "agreeing" and haven't even mentioned the divorce (or its aftermath) for the last two weeks or so. I've been trying to be pleasant and happy around him. Sometimes I get moody, but I've finally stopped crying in front of him.

Sorry for the long post, but can ANYONE help me understand what may be going on in his head? Thank you.