Forgot to ask was my behaviour controlling or unreasonable re wanting a bit of time? I wld be interested in ur opinions so I can avoid making the same mistakes.
No, I think it was a totally reasonable request. She drops the move bomb on you and then expects you to be ready to negotiate furniture and visitations without even giving you time to think about it? What you did was fine.
Regarding her moods, on the one hand she's confused and in turmoil inside and that's going to bubble up now and then. On the other hand she's excited because she thinks moving is going to solve ALL her problems and make ALL her dreams come true. So she's going through a wide range of emotions and you saw a few of them. You'll no doubt see more coming up too. Just try to remember to focus on you and not her, you are the lighthouse and she is the storm and raging sea. You are solid and immovable while she is all over the place. Try to visualize that when she's losing it next time.
I'll just throw this out there as a thought from my own sitch- when W moved I wanted to keep my home as "normal" as possible both for me and the kids. So when we started negotiating what furniture she would take, I offered instead to buy her new furniture. She liked the idea a lot so that's what we ended up doing. I spent about 5 grand and went over to her place and assembled it all for her. Some people were telling me "man, I can't believe you're helping her like that" but for me it was worth it to keep my house looking like my house and not like an estate sale had just blown through. Besides, I probably would have had to spend that to replace whatever furniture she may have taken anyway. She did take a few things, but nothing major. I can't stress enough that for me, keeping my home (and furnishings) was paramount to keeping my sanity in this. I think the kids felt the same. It's home base, our anchor.
