The crack in my perfect life...

[2chiquitos]

Its a 30some% rate of marriages that reconcile after and affair but leave that alone. Don't think about it. This is about you.

Let me tell you my story. Hopefully you won't feel like the only lunatic! LOL!

Beginning of Sept '11 I was well aware of the affair and H had told me OW wanted nothing to do with him. She was so hurt and upset that she didn't even want to talk to him. All B$! BTW: he had moved out a month before the baby was born in July and had said he had no plans of coming back. His words "I don't want to try and I don't want to give you false hope."

So back to Sept '11. I went to the gym and my friend who works there said, "Girl I am so sick and tired of seeing your man with OW here at the gym." UHHhhh, say what? So I went to the gym later that evening when he teaches a class and yup I saw OW there.

While I was there, H treated me like cr@p. Ignoring me, cold shoulder, etc. I look back now and I realize he was pooping in his pants cuz he knew something was going to happen.

When his class was over, I asked H to help me pick up the kids from the kids klub and put them kids in the car. He was not going to do this, only because I asked. It was his "thing" at the time. To have me do these things on my own cuz he had totally checked out.

Well OW quietly waited at the entrance. I left the gym and quickly returned to get my parking validated and took the opportunity to ask her, "are you still seeing him?" She said, "ask him." This went on for a few min. My 1mos old starting crying and she called H on her cell, "your chick is here." Meanwhile H was putting S4 in the car.

I walked out and saw H running towards the entrance freaking out (WITHOUT S4!!) I said, "where's S4?" He said, "what are you doing (talking to her)?" I ran to the car that was parked on the 3rd floor of the parking structure!! and S4 was sitting in the car patiently waiting. I couldn't freakin believe him! He didn't even follow me to the car!

I drove to his parked car and we were in a shouting match. All the while OW was parked close by listening. AND D1 was crying hysterically! I couldn't see straight. I was determined to let out all my anger on him (AND HER!).

The next day was worse. H text me accidentally saying "having a nice lunch. I love you." I never told him I was having lunch and he was not telling me he loved me! So I sent OW a text. "Sorry about yesterday. H n I are trying to work things out." That was the beginning of a long series of texts between her and I that day that eventually gave me a serious panic attack. I couldn't take care of my kids!

She text me pix of notes he sent her and things they had done together and a bunch of bologna now that I think about it. what bothered her the most was when I said, "I'll always be #1 and your NOT! LOL!" Because it was true. I also said, "H thinks you're emotionally disturbed cuz of all the times your exH beat you" Ohhh that sent her on a tailspin.

God sweetbriar. I forgot about the feeling I had when all that ensued. Your post reminded me of it and as I read it my hands started shaking. I felt it important to share my story for the sake of my recovery.

Please read carefully what I'm going to tell you. BACK THE F&CK %FF! Yes you made a huge mistake. Yes you pushed him away. Yes you looked like a crazy psycho exW.

However you have the gift of time. That means you can go back to DB tonite. Send out a simple apology or none and stay absolutely quiet for a while. A good while. You know your H better than OW, that's what you've forgotten. You have the upper hand here.

Unfortunately you just gave H & OW more fuel to talk bad about you. BUT BUT BUT that talk can only last so long. After a while it gets old and you are yourself again and she's just a replacement he found. You need to build up your self esteem cuz this sitch can tear it apart.

Love yourself. Don't put yourself in situations that are going to give you a quick rush. (ie snooping!) That will come crashing down.

Also, your kids are not going to forget the night my mom drove past OWs house and saw dad walking up to her door. You need to be Sweetbriar and not crazy psycho exH. She's in there. You need to go and find her. She needs to feel loved, appreciated, sexy, smart, all that good stuff.

I know you will be ok! big hugs from LA ;-)