I have read through your entire thread here tonight. I have a few comments. 1. Whatever he agreed to- hold him to it. Seriously. Use that time wisely. If he is to be there to pick S up then you be dressed to kill and act like you are heading out for a big time!!! Seriously. Make him wonder. I don't care if you just go to the grocery store and back home. He doesn't have to know that. 2. I really hope you changed the keypad and got the garage opener. Limits. Your H does not seem to respect you and unless and until you provide boundaries and stick with them he isn't likely to start. 3. Heck no, don't go out of your way to talk to him. You can address any issues with the kids, be polite but don't go out of your way. Be vague with any questions about yourself. Don't volunteer a thing. Nothing. Not about the kids, not about anything. If he wants to know something he will need to put on his big girl panties and find out himself. You have two children already. Don't need another. lol
Sorry but in many ways your H sounds like mine. He pretty much put me in the role of caretaker then had the audacity to complain and say I was too controlling.
Arsene was dead on and honestly I didn't think about it until just now and reading it, somehow, it hit me like a ton of bricks. You have years still. No worries. Think about it, how much has your life changed in the last 5 years? No telling where you will be in another 5.
Even if you do not feel like GAL much -- Fake it until you make it. Certainly do not let your H know. From the sound of those previous texts he is definitely the jealous kind. So let him sit and stew about that for awhile. Maybe that sounds mean. Really it's not.
One thing that is really striking me about your sitch is your H doesn't seem to really be feeling any consequences or at least none that are really hitting him very hard. I can you too, in my experience 20 somethings don't get off on someone else's teenagers putting kinks in their plans or that sort of thing.
I know when H left the first time and my kids were still so young, I briefly thought to myself that were it not so upsetting for all of them I should have sent them over for the weekends. Nothing else can be more irritating that someone else's wild kids non stop for a few days! :-) Of course, I didn't ever agree to that.
Sorry for getting so winded. I really wish you well with this. Don't let this girl and sitch change things for you. In actuality, nothing, has really changed with the sitch except now you do not have to lie or cover for your H. He didn't tell them before because of guilt and because in his mind somewhere he knew this wasn't right. Now let him deal with the natural consequences. Better for you. There comes a point when you cannot shield your children from the truth. Sure you can try but sometimes, they need to learn for themselves. It's hard and it hurts. Just continue to be the awesome mom you have been! I will be praying for you!
