WAS vs. LBS

[Soul.Searching]

Lol, I've wondered that myself but I have my facebook deactivated right now. I've wondered the same thing CV but I dont want to add random men to my FB. So I don't think I should do it just to see his reaction. I don't want to be spiteful.

I do think he is possibly going through a MLC but I was reading a thread on here about all the MLC signs. Seems like he has had a lot of them for years. Then I realized they said depression sign #1 etc so I looked up depression in men. Seems a lot of the time, they don't show the unhappy side of depression, they show it via mood swings and angry etc.
I'm thinking H may have been depressed for years and has now escalated to MLC. I never realized how different men and woman show the signs of depression!
I know it's not up to me to "diagnose" him but it does make a difference to me. If he really is going through something like this, then maybe there is hope for us, if/ when he comes out the other side. However if this is just him, then I don't know that he will ever change.
Him leaving changed me too. I know now that I can not go back to how things were. I do derserve better! If he can't change and grow, then although this is a long hard road, that I didn't want to be on, maybe it could be best in the long run.

As for 180, well im doing a couple towards him. I'm sure sometimes he says things trying to push my buttons. I'm not letting him know if it botheres me. Nearly every time I talk to him he tells me he is on his way out (drinking) I simply tell him to have fun. If he is 31 and just wants to party and not worry about conceerquence and money than so be it.
Just don't call me from a gutter and expect me to stay on the phone on google maps, trying to help your drunken arse home.

The rest if the 180 are for me and me alone. To help me become a better person and a better mother etc. I've been reading DR and I realized I probably could give my children more positive encouragement. Things like that.