Yes, Gotye. Still associate the song with bad stuff.
Anyway, these are some news you've got. The getting trashed part is a turn off, but hey, at least the OM seems to be out of her life. However, don't expect him to be out of her mind for a while. My H broke it off with the OM back in April of 2011, and even then he continued emailing/texting her through August (he said that wasn't cheating bc it was only emails and chats.)So if your W had an emotional attachment to the OM, expect some rough waters ahead. Patience is your tool. Also, my H tried to break it off with the OW several times, he said, and she would pursue him again and again, so keep your eyes and ears open.
I would just keep doing what you're doing and expect some not-so-pleasant things to come out of her mouth. Try to steer away from the type of conv in which she'll talk about the OM to protect yourself and to protect your investment in the R. Basically, the more you know, the harder it'll be for you to heal.
