the good news is that she doesn't want to consider any kind of split until at least after Christmas. this gives me some good time to continue working.
This means she doesn't have an exit plan in place, and is comfortable enough in your home. My wife said the same thing... came up with several different milestones for when she would look for her own place/leave, some of which have already passed. She hasn't mentioned anything about it for quite a while now.
Like you noted, giving you a schedule means time is on your side.
You offer her security and comfort that she would no longer have if she left. As long as you don't do things that would push her away, (beg, plead, try to convince, argue, or GUILT her) chances are good she's not going anywhere for awhile, if ever.
Remember: Act "As if" everything is ok. I did this so well that after a couple of weeks of it my wife actually said to me that we can't go on like nothing is wrong! I told her I understand how she feels, and that she wants to leave. It's not what I want I said, but if you leave I understand. Validate and don't try to hold on to her, that will only make her pull away harder.
Give her plenty of space, keep up with the DB'ing, and read / reread the book.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
