I knew Fri that she was lying to me about where the Halloween party was but I didn't say a word about it. We had a little contact early in the day Fri but nothing else. She stayed away overnight and mid-day Sat texts, "Hey" so I respond "Hey.
Her: "sorry I stayed at my cousins last night. I like to tell you due to the suv. I'm not home yet not sure when I will be but I will be over then." Me: "Ok no problem" Her: "Ok"
No more texts and no more contact until Sat evening when I'm already home and she gets home from wherever she's been. I ask NO questions about anything. When she starts talking to me I'm pleasant and upbeat without being over the top and just stay cool. Another one of her sisters comes over and as they talk about stuff that happened the night before I show no interest, I don't even look at them. The more this goes on where I'm detached without being mean or cold she finally asks me if I'm ok and I say yes and ask why she would ask. She says she's having a bad day and I just tell her I'm sorry to hear that.
She goes out with her sister again for the night and I ask NO questions, even tell them to have a good night. She gets home after 2am (I still couldn't sleep well b/c I knew they were going to the bar again) and I wake up b/c of it. I say hi and she apologizes for waking me. I tell her not to worry and ask if she had a good night. She says no and tells me how she wasn't feeling good and still isn't. I might have made a mistake at this point b/c I tell her, "don't take this the wrong way, would you like something more comfortable to sleep on" meaning in bed with me. She asks why she would take that the wrong way and I say b/c of how things have been lately. She says she doesn't want to keep me up b/c she is restless and appreciates the offer. I'm cool through all of this and wish her a good night.
Now, I know it was risky offering the bed but I was trying to think what the "old me" would do. The "old me" would hate to have her sick and uncomfortable when she can at least get comfy in the bed rather than on a camping cot.
This morning she asks if I want to go to the grocery store with her. I agree and in the car she reveals to me that she got food stamps and tells me a bit about her trip to the courthouse about public assistance stuff. On the way to and from the store she's telling me about Fri & Sat night. I think she admitted to going to the bar on Fri to see how I would react. She even mentions how she let her friend use her costume Sat night. I don't react negatively to any of this. I react the way the "old me" would, just listen and have a good conversations. We laughed and in the store worked together on the shopping. There's some conact between us and we talk about the football game she wants to watch and it was a nice time.
We get home and she's going to help bring in the groceries but I tell her to go relax since she isn't feeling well. She takes a nap while I put stuff away. Part way through the baby wakes up and she asks if I'll watch her since she has a migraine. I agree and it's no trouble, I have a good time with the baby. She finally wakes up and says I didn't have to let her sleep that long. I tell her it was no problem since I knew she wasn't feeling well and now she says she feels better. We put on the football game and she's enjoying watching it and she's talking to me and being more open about sharing stuff. I don't ask questions, I don't pry, I just have good conversations with her and enjoy what she is giving me.
I might have pushed a little too far at one point. The baby was crawling on the couch and we were on opposite ends. We had our legs up to block the baby from falling. She was putting her foot on my leg and apologizing...of course I told her not to worry, I love any touch from her these days. At one point I take her foot and put it on my leg to create a barrier but she doesn't want to do that so I back off immediately.
She tells me more of the stuff that happened last night to make it a bad night and I just listen. She was definitely sharing with me more like the old days. She had gotten stressed out over stuff that had nothing to do with me and now was venting to me.....this is what happened early in our R. Overall, it was very nice and I think I put off better vibes about the football game.
After the game she took the baby to visit her mom and get some water for the baby. I made no complaints and asked no questions. I carried the baby out for her even though she told me I didn't have to. When she said that I replied, "I know I don't have to." I did it b/c that's what the "old me" would do.
So, I've been very careful not to be pushy or display chasing behavior. No ILY or I care, I didn't bring up topics that have led to arguments, I wasn't needy or clingy, I was strong and confident and attractive ever since Fri. I know I'm not out of the woods, I know things could still go really bad really fast, but I've changed and she's changed. I think she was testing me at times by bringing up heated topics and I passed them all. I'm doing what she's been wanting, just having a nice day with her. I really think I was getting to her b/c she asked me if I was ok and I had displayed NO behavior that would indicate I wasn't ok...she wasn't ok and couldn't understand my drastic changes.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
