Wife in MLC? I'm seeking support / guidance

[Wendylon]

Hi ForeverYoung,

I understand the woman's touch thing. I am really grateful that you and afa stopped by on my thread as I think it's really valuable for me to get insights from men into my sitch. I can see that it would be the same (in reverse) for you.

I've been thinking about your W's complaint that she wanted more of a man than a boy. I may be completely off but here are some ideas. While you being fit and young-looking is great, your W may see your interest in that as immature and superficial. By all means, keep up your exercise/fitness but try not talking about it. For example, go dim on your fitness activities like Zumba. To her it might just look like more of the same--you being focused on your body.

I'm also struck by your name on this board. Not to say that she knows your board name but I've got the sense that you look young for your age and are (justly) proud of it. Again, I'd not let her see that you give that any thought for a bit especially if you've been into your training for a while. Let her think that your interests are changing as she may perceive your fitness/body interest as a sign of arrested development.

I know for example that my H is still excited about travelling and spending money, which to me looks like arrested development. He's been like that ever since I've known him. I've got to the point where I think that being home is more enjoyable than being on adventures. I feel annoyed that his interests don't seem to be changing at all. I'm just giving you an example where someone's tastes not changing can be interpreted as them not evolving and becoming wiser.

You've mentioned that your W says she isn't attracted to you anymore. At some point, you also wrote that you were lying naked on the bed (post shower) and she came and sat on the bed. I think that you would be better off not being naked around your W so much. Just do it subtly so that it doesn't look contrived. I know it was a good sign from your perspective that she sat on the bed but I imagine that not seeing you naked would give her a bit more space and would feel less pressuring somehow.

That's it for now. I look forward to following your sitch.

Glad you got that hug!