Here we go again...

[someguy1233]

I should get an award for my acting. Last night I went out with W.
She had again asked me if I was going to the party we were invited to, so I agreed. She did state we could go "as friends."

We went to a bar for a short time before going to the party. While there she was complaining about work. Suspected OM was brought up... He's been out of town this past week getting ready for his new job. It's interesting that this past week W hasn't been to a single happy hour when weeks prior she was constantly out.
She also mentioned he's moving halfway across the country for this job in 2 weeks.

She made a comment about wishing she could just wake up and be happy with EVERYTHING. She said nothing would be easier...

As we drove to the party she talked about happiness. She said has no plan. Has no idea what to do. She said she still hasn't talked to a lawyer. She believes part of the marriage vows are to think of spouses happiness as much as your own. And that she thinks that I could maybe be happier because she isn't 100% committed. She said that's what she struggles with: can she be committed to the relationship.

At the party, we laughed and had fun. She thanked me for coming and gave me kiss on cheek. Said she knew it must be hard for me and that she appreciates me coming.

When we got home she gave me a hug and a quick kiss on the lips. And thanked me for hanging out with her.
Moments later she gave me another hug and thanked me for buying the drinks at the bar. She said, "it felt like a date. It was weird."

I let her have the bed... I went into the bedroom to change. As I was leaving she said I could sleep there- that she didn't mind. So we slept in the same bed for the first time in nearly 2-3 weeks.


I has to remind myself not to put any value in her actions or comments since she was drinking.

My acting was amazing. The entire evening I was an upbeat strong man. Even though on the inside I was bouncing between rage and sadness.

I still don't know what to do with OM info, especially because he moves in 2 weeks.

I still may bring up Retrovaille...