Riding the Bull

[Arsene]

Well, that was quick. Within the hour they were back with 3 hamsters and a cage. D8 is delighted. That meant that we were now to spend the rest of the day together. I wasn't in the mood to be around W all day so I tried to give them space to be together and at one point went out in the back yard just to sit and meditate. Within minutes W was there sitting by my side. We had a bit of idle chat and then it looked to me like W was pensive, and trying to say something. I eventually asked her if she was ok and she said she was but just a bit tired. Then D8 arrived and that was the end of that.

A few more instances occurred where I went to a different room to leave them and W would eventually come in where I was and sit and do small talk.

I listened and validated but nothing much was said as D8 ended up being around most of the time.

Just before Bed time, I was talking to W and D8 at the dinning room table and W's phone kept going on (literally a text every 30 seconds), at one point, I looked at the phone on the table and W took it away, as if to hide it from my sight. Of course I immediately started thinking about OM and my mood changed. I had to leave.

I got changed and told D8 and W I was going to take a motorcycle ride to see if I could ride to work tomorrow. Unfortunately, my tone was cold towards W and I'm sure she noticed. She was nonetheless pleasant and I caught myself on the way out and cheerfully told them both to have a good time and told W I'd see her in the morning for immigration.

I'm now thinking it might be a good time to set a boundary about her receiving texts from OM in our home when we are together. Or at least about her use of her phone while with us. I'm not sure. All I know is that this affected me and I'm not even sure it's OM. Just a feeling based on their texting habits I've noticed in the past.

Also, it really felt like she wanted to talk but didn't know how to say what she wanted to say. I'll see how she is in the morning at immigration.