I don't know what has gotten to me last night but I ended up reverting to some of my old self. This is on the drive home from BILs get together. Some moron decided he can just owns the road and decided that drivers should get out of his way. Well I didn't and this sparked some argument with me and my w. I missed out on my 180, and now just regretting my actions from last night. O well we live and learn, so my next 180 is the car ride, make it pleasant as possible.
I have also nicely asked W to put back her wedding ring. And explained, consider putting it back on, for the sake of our vows, and that we are still married afterall. I also told her that she will have plenty of time to remove later if our M doesn't work out. She said ok.
Just a little venting here, I'm getting frustrated that I'm the only one initiating physical contact with W. I know there shouldn't be any expectations and I got to keep reminding myself. Last night at the gathering, it was so awkward to see the couples so loving with each other. I guess I was somewhat jealous or bitter, I don't know just my emotions last night. It was a rough night to DB last night, and yesterday I saw some of the old me.
The good thing is I recognized them. And I can improve and try to DB Again today.
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
