Right. Every time you talk about the R it only reminds her of her feelings of not being in love. Don't bring it up, don't try to "take her temperature" to see where she stands. She already told you, discussing it more will not help because you cannot convince her to change how she feels! (I know because I tried, lol)

If she brings up leaving or divorcing, just listen and say you understand why she feels that way. That you now understand your part in this and are working on yourself. Tell her you don't want her to leave, but that if she does you understand and will not try to stop her. This was important for my wife to hear, because it took off much of the pressure from me to make her stay. 7 months later she is still here, and doesn't appear to want out anymore.

Then just go about your life and being the new you. Concentrate on yourself and your kids. Don't hang on her looking for affirmations of love. Instead, give her plenty of space and time alone. She will notice your changes, and may at some point tell you it's "Too little, too late". Don't let this hinder your progress, just press on knowing it will take some time for her to fall back in love. The good news is that she can. (and even said she was trying to, which is a good sign)

Oh, and keep your family(s) out of all this! Getting them involved also won't help.

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl