Thanks Mrsrjd,

I'm really trying to be fabulous but it's a bit grim sometimes. Very confusing! Currently on a holiday that we booked start of July. Meant to be a romantic break for us! I'm here with a friend but find myself longing for him.

Been NC, dropped "our" dog off to work so his Mum can look after him for me. Made sure i was looking good! My H said send a postcard, i was like wtf! So just smiled instead! I don't have a clue where he is or what he's doing. Maybe that's what is so weird, this man who I've been loving/talking/communicating with for nearly two decades is still on this planet, but not with me. So odd he doesn't miss me. :-(