Piecing - Round 1

[Denver_2010]

Congrats L2L! It is difficult to know for certain what worked and what did not when it comes to how we deal with these situations. The bottom line though is that it sounds like you did 'what works'... and that is rule #1 for divorce busting!!

Good luck with your piecing!

[Sad_but_happy]

Hi Denver Et'all - I just wanted to stop by and say hi.

This is my first visit back to DB in more than 6 months. Life has certainly drastically changed for me as I'm sure it has for all of you.

Keep up the fight. Even though my divorce will go through I truly believe in marriage and love.

I will update my story some day.

Your spouses need to realize that once they drive you to the point of being done. I mean truly DONE! There is no return.

Good luck all.

[Denver_2010]

Hi SBH. Thanks for stopping by. I see your profile info is updated. I look forward to hearing an update. Even though we haven't agreed on much, I do hope that you are well.

[Sad_but_happy]

I think we agree on more then you think Denver. For me and my personality, once the affair happened I always felt that she was looking elsewhere.

For me, unless there is constant reasonable attention from the cheating spouse, in order to make me feel secure for a long time, it was doomed to fail.

They can't leave a question in your mind that they want you and only you. Security is just as important as trust. If not more important.

I will accept no less.

And to be completely honest, there are PLENTY of women out there that know how to make you feel like you're the only one. And everyone deserves that.

And I hope my X finds it too.

For me, there are no regrets. Some sadness that it didn't last, but no regrets.

But would I ever go back? Not in a million years.

[Denver_2010]

For me, unless there is constant reasonable attention from the cheating spouse, in order to make me feel secure for a long time, it was doomed to fail.

They can't leave a question in your mind that they want you and only you. Security is just as important as trust. If not more important.

I will accept no less.

I actually DO agree with ALL of the above SBH. I still look forward to hearing what happened with you and your M over the past 6 months.

[Denver_2010]

Update

The last couple of weeks have been good overall. Like I've said before, W and I have pretty much settled into normal M stuff. We have good days and bad days. We do have arguments because we don't agree on everything, and because she is stubborn!

We did have a fairly big argument over money last week that caused us both to say some things to one another that neither of us meant. I was disappointed in myself for allowing the anger to surface. The next morning, W and I did a little silent treatment with one another. Later in the day I reached out to her to fix it. I admit that I was a bit frustrated that I had to be the one to reach out and fix it though. I told her that too. W just doesn't like to apologize. Even so, she did in her own way. It can just be frustrating sometimes.

W received another text from OM on Saturday night. She was at a gig when she received it. She told me about it the next day and had saved it for me to read. She did not respond to it.

The text from OM was: "Thanks again for getting me fired. I wonder if the rest of the company will treat you differently knowing that you did this to me. I don't resent you for going back to your M. I do resent you for going after my livelihood."

For those of you catching up, he is complaining about W doing what I asked and not taking gigs that OM is on. She is a singer for an entertainment company and he is a horn player. W is the talent and he is just a bit player. So the owner of the company has basically stopped putting OM on gigs because W is on most of them.

I don't really care if this is petty, but I was smiling inside when I read the text. If OM was hanging on a cliff and asking me to pull him up... well, I'd probably stomp on his fingers. So I obviously couldn't care less if he's lost his job.

In response to OM's text, W called the owner of the company to inquire about the situation. She is concerned that OM is causing trouble for her with the company.

I may not have mentioned this before, but her boss was p!ssed at me for telling W that she needed to NOT take gigs with OM. He felt like I was not allowing W to be a professional and do her job. That I was being petty. In my last encounter with her boss, he was angry with W over the hassle that this was causing over a gig that she had in Napa. W was telling him that she wouldn't pay for him to replace OM on the show, he was angry and telling her that she was going to pay for it (she ultimately did after she and I discussed it)... but he got in my face and pointed his finger at me while saying to W "This IS your problem, and your's! (pointing at me)"

What drama.

Anyway, so W called him this weekend about the the most recent text from OM. He told her that he was not putting OM on gigs because OM had come to his house angry about the whole situation. That he (W's boss) now saw why I wanted OM away from W completely. He wanted W to tell me that he was sorry for what had happened before. And told W that he felt like the situation had hurt their relationship and wanted to fix that.

So basically, OM is being outed to his colleagues for being the a$$hole that he truly is.

Too bad for him.

[Starsky309]

Where's the "Like" button??


Starsky

[bustingout]

I like it!

[Denver_2010]

I would like to say that I am above reveling in OM's displeasure, but I'd be lying if I did.

[LITB]

That's awesome. Poor, little D-bag(OM).

That made me smile.