I have managed to move forward in my sitch and am working on R with H. He has not made a commitment to M and we have not even talked about our problems or the things he has said or done to me.
boy- does that sound similar to us. he's being all nice- waaay less critical and just awful than past year or so - BUT no talking about it at all- =(i've sworn off trying that since last big dust-up) - no committment by h- i don't know if he ever will/would. that's a tough one for me. we're not married- i know it's not a guarantee- but it's sure an expression of commitment. it never seemed to matter- now with all this junk going on- i'm not sure i can "do" this free&easy stuff. i don't like feeling like the other woman- and i don't like an open marriage- i'm trying to keep my lid on til i can figure out me or him or both or r. (if there is one still)
he acts like it's all normal as pie- some days i feel nuts .
i'm in your boat exactly- except he comes and goes to house in fla - it's hard & i can't tell if i'm more stressed when he's gone or here- it's soooo wierd on soo many levels - but like you, i just do one day at a time.
i think i like me too- i don't want to be someone new and different (and not me) - i don't honestly know what goes on in his head. when he gets mad he is sooo goofy and it's sooo childish and something i've never ever seen in 30 years- i want to make fun of him. he grits his teeth and talks thru them- GOD - how can this man i knew so well be this guy - wth the stupid clenched teeth- boy it's soooo uncomplimentary.
usually i don't ever get angry any more- i just say he is, not me - we've switched that role. i used to get steamed and explain allover town & try and talk- now i just can't.
do you think sometimes you don't even know what you want from him or with him anymore? i don't exactly want him gone from my life- i wouldn't be here doing this if i did i'm sure- but i just don't know what else there might be. i'm willing to see- i wonder tho.
oh well- hatches half battoned down-t omorrow morning for sure - scarlett. thanks for note- good luck i'll be interested to know how things are going. i'd say success of a sort- hopefully a great "ending" somewhere in the future. fingers crossed for all of us huh? oh man!!!! didja ever forsee this one in your future?????
if it wasn't so tragic i'd laugh (well, sometimes i have to- pressure release) it's so dumb sometimes with us- just plain ole childish and dopey. oh well....
