Together Separate II

[mizjjd]

From TJP

Thanks for the advice. I guess I feel like I haven't been in this forum long enough to give anyone advice.

I have told my girls life isn't fair. Don't really need to, they are old enough to know. They both have had some hard times. They are both really smart girls and I'm so grateful they are older and not little.

. They were there when I found out about the OW. We kind of found out together. My YD was in the hotel room with us. My OD was in the other hotel room and was informed by her sister when she returned to their room. What a way to start what was supposed to be the "vacation of a lifetime"!

I have been making the changes for me and my girls. I just wish H would be around long enough to notice. I'm sure he's noticing that I haven't emailed in a week. That's not what I used to do. I don't plan on emailing either. I don't think our Ds are either. I hope this smacks him in the face. None of his girls talking to him.

I have always told the girls that their relationship with their Dad is theirs, not mine. I don't tell them what to do. But, when they ask, I'll give my advice. Since they are older, they pretty much make up their own minds. They see what's going on. My YD who lives at home, talks to the OD and keeps her up on what's going on. I'm glad they have each other.

I do have another friend that knows everything. Luckily, she and I work in the same classroom. She understands more of what I'm going thru. Her H walked out on her and little girl for a year. He came back. My other friends care, but they just don't understand how it feels. That's why I have gotten so much out of coming here and reading. I don't feel as alone. There are so many out there that understand what I'm going thru, for the most part.

I like what you're doing with your thoughts on the holidays. I have had Christmas in the back of my mind. Usually I would have bought at least one present by now. I haven't really thought about it. Supposedly H is going to be in town for thanksgiving. When it gets closer, I'll ask the girls what they want to do. If they want to invite him to come to the house, it will be fine with me. I still can't believe I say stuff like that!!! Invite my own husband to our house!! My birthday is a couple days after thanksgiving. I'm not sure how that's going to go.

I'm glad you got to see your S play football. I have sat MANY cold nights and weekends at football fields watching the marching band and color guard. I have been to everything and am glad I haven't missed a moment. I have even chaperoned several out of town trips. These are the things that mean the most to our kids. I know they will remember all that I do for them and with them. It's really sad that YD will remember this fall season. I hope he comes to his senses by winter season. Senior year only happens once.

I really hope you do find some things to do for yourself while your H is away. Maybe he'll be able to find some time to think about you and miss you. :o)
_________________________
Me 43
H 44
T28
M22
Discovered affair 7/3/12
While on vacation with Ds & H
H returned to US 8/22/12
Never came home, travels a lot
Ds 17 & 20

Top