Let's just make it a weirder day. Reread my post and felt as if I was reading details about someone else. Ok, so W is fine. Evidently she drank 3 bottles if water or something and felt better. So much that she went to Zumba. I clearly shook my head, told her not being parental, just caring, to be careful, etc. Afterall we did make a deal last night not to die anytime soon. .
What came first...chicken or the egg? W's medical or emotional breakdown? Doesn't really matter b/c of all them exist.
I still think your W is seeking attention (subconsciously.) Be nice and caring, but try to find a balance. I know it's tough. I think her emotional mess is affecting her body, but there is nothing you can do about it but wait. That's my take.
My H used to blame me for getting a cold. "It's all this stress!" he would say, "I'm so healthy but now I can't get better because of what's happening!" and then he would throw hints that life was too short and what was he doing... I used to feel powerless, and no matter how nice I would be, he still had that nasty attitude. At least your W is kind of siding with you.
Don't see anything negative going on in our sitch, so that's good news...How are you feeling in regard to the in-house separation? Is it still ok?
Oh, she's definitely attention seeking. She's admitted it before. Fortunately she's not blaming me for her whatever in the world us going on with her body. Death is a touchy subject for me. No honest clue as to why but it is. I could attend a total strangers funeral and end up sobbing. So for her to be this way scared me. My walls crumbled a little last night. She saw I was angry. So I confess that it was anger based out of fear that she would end up hurting herself physically as she's imo overdoing things. I told her I had accepted losing her as W, but not in this way. To make a long story short, she made me hug her. Weird night huh? Let's add some more to it. Earlier in the day I asked if we could talk money later on. She said ok. So later on last night I did bring it up. However she said, "can we not talk about it til after the w/e. I'm seeking closure on catastroohic events.". I said "I just wanted to let you know I am going to xfer money to pay the house taxes. I don't think I even want to know what you mean" (in re: to the closure statement). I'm pretty sure, 99%, that she was thinking I meant separate accounts, but nope. So...everyone pray she's mirroring her OW friend and breaking it off with OM / choosing me. ?? Or maybe she has an IC appt. Maybe meeting with an L (doubtful). I dunno.
Mini journal. Spent the first part of the day tree trimming at W's gma's house. Not b/c DNA called W a "white" . , but b/c she has and does so much for us / our kids w/o asking anything for in return. She offered to pay me, ridiculous. I told to simply keep praying. . It was a great distraction from the sich, and it just felt good.
Afternoon was uneventful, but I ended up taking the kids out to dinner, D11's request; and we need to buy presents for a few bday parties tomorrow. Dinner went smooth again with just me and the kids. It's honestly strange how I can take them all out and they are all really good vs when W and so took them out, S2 acts a fool. Fortunately, a friend was texting me while I was getting the kids ready to leave. W was home at the time (adding to mystery as I didn't really share what our plans were). I did make it a point to leave with the kids before she did. Now thev 2 older ones and I are watching a Halloween carrying (younngest fell asleep on the way home). I'm catching up on some posts, and passing around hugs to my regular peeps I visit simply to try and spread goodness for the sake of goodness. 7 Hope all are well wherever you are.
Afa, You have forgiveness, compassion and empathy for your wife in spades. If you didn't you'd have checked out a long time ago.
I agree with Tori (again) just let her live her thing, she's got some stuff going on that needs an outlet by the sounds of things. Like we vent here, she vents outloud. Imagine you have a shield of protection around you, the stuff hits it like a clean windscreen and runs off. You're safe in there.
Thank you for stopping by my thread. I have seen you around but hadn't quite got the hang of your sitch.
I've now read most of your posts. It looks as if you're making really good progress. Your W certainly sounds a lot softer and confused (in a good way) than she did towards the beginning of your first thread.
I look forward to following your developments and progress. And by the way, congratulations on putting on those pounds!
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
Thanks Wendy, i'll be keeping on eye on yours too.
Tori, how was the hike? The "dna" line was an autocorrect gone wrong. It was supposed to read, "gma called w a whore". We all agree she is white. I only have guesses as to what W meant by "catastrophic events". My hope is she meant that she is ending it with OM due to all the damage she has done to our immediate and extended family, friends, and of course myself. Then again, I had a similar hope a few weeks ago and yet still here if you know what I mean. So I'm doing my best not put much, if anything in that based on the crash I had shortly thereafter. This time I'm at least equipped not only with great support in this site, but now I have a shield.
On a side note, had a fairly good but chilly day with the kiddos at an outdoor bday party for another one of my friend's kids. I'm also 1/2 way through the DB book. I'm seeing more of how W's complaints were true in the sense that I did do too much and never made/ allowed her to do much (eg finances, bills, chores, etc), added with my insecurity = controlling and parental at times.
You sound positive and that's good. I'd also like updates on the catastrophic events when you get them. I'm intrigued.
As you may know, getting books is not easy for me down here so I was wondering if you think that having read DR, I would get something more out of DB.
Cheers Mate!
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
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