The crack in my perfect life...

[Sweetbriar]

Morning update...was awakened by my phone receiving a text. Was totally surprised to see H's name pop up. He texted:

"Just seeing how you are feeling"

I don't want to read into it at all...but I cannot help but to think that he must think about me sometimes...not sure if he really cares how I'm feeling or if he feels obligated to ask because I'm pregnant, although he hasn't been asking the whole pregnancy. I just saw him on Wed.

I responded an hour later:

"Pregnant!"

and then H asked if he could take D11 to movies this afternoon. Of course, I never keep him from the kids, but we are busy today, and overnight, so I just responded:

"We are busy tonight, but would tomorrow work?" and he responded "yes". I just left it. I figure he will contact me tomorrow regarding a time and details. Funny, he didn't contact D11 and ask if she wanted to go so that was a change...he usually asks the kids first, makes plans and then asks me. I like that he asks me first, so that if they cannot go, it doesn't get their hopes up!

I had to do a little work today to prepare for the storm coming! I'm in VA so we aren't supposed to get more than rain and heavy winds, but I had to head out and take down my gazebo and these are things I would have had H do...especially since I'm pregnant! Climbing up and down a ladder isn't ideal, but I did it:)

Weekends are the hardest by far to be without H here. It has gotten easier, but I must admit my mind still wanders to what he must be doing to keep busy. His parents how is sooooo boring...he has always hated it there, even when we got for holiday and stay a few hours he was always ready to leave. I'm really surprised he hasn't gotten his own place yet...that must be his next step. I'm thinking he is waiting until our court date on Nov 5th to see what money he will have after having to pay me.

Sad that it has come to court dates and money and sharing kids....

It's still hard to receive any contact from him or any gesture from him (the hug on Wed) and not be affected..I hope this gets better in time...